a digest of stupid
refinery29 lady of diarrhea, an "all white" party, and i almost went to cabana
This week it was hard to choose a topic because stupid things just kept happening. So instead I thought I’d put together a fun little digest of the week.
Refinery29’s petty criminal with diarrhea
This was a magical read in Money Diaries - where millennial women talk about what they spend in a week - about a young Toronto woman who lives at home, has no debt, yet regularly evades TTC fares with utter delight and drinks a lot of smoothies.
The article begins
I wake up with terrible diarrhea, so all I eat for breakfast is a banana.
and I should have stopped right there!!!
There really isn’t anything particularly hateful about this young woman’s spending habits, except the fact that she gloats about people paying for her, is too cheap to buy coffee in a shop but gets regular tarot readings and life coach advice. I guess it’s just her personality: irritating brat with a compulsive Lyft habit!!! Anyone who talks joyously about evading fares for basic public services when in a position to contribute is always a little trash.
It's time for my annual tarot reading, and it's fabulous and very positive! The reading says I’m stepping out of old habits and mindsets and moving toward becoming influential or a leader to others.
honey no.
So much self-reflection this week! Between coaching, therapy, and tarot, I'm analyzed out
ya I dunno go back to therapy.
Toronto just had a wtf “all-white” party
Then there was an “all-white” party this week, an event whose names gets cringier annually. I’ve heard about this for a while now, but decided to finally read up on the details and it makes no sense?
From their website I learn of the dinner’s noble purpose:
“Thousands of people, dressed all in white, and conducting themselves with the greatest decorum, elegance, and etiquette, all meet for a mass ‘chic picnic’ in a public space.”
Here is how it works:
you need to be “sponsored” by an existing member to register b/c “exclusive”
you have to show up somewhere to be taken to a “secret location” - ex. very esoteric spaces like under the Gardiner Expressway and across from the Skydome
you have to wear white (duh!)
you have to bring your own food!
you have to bring your own booze!
you have to bring you own chairs
and plates
and glassware
and tables cloths (white duh!)
and tables!!!
Need help picturing that? Don’t worry they got a handy illustration:
there are 8 steps but you get the picture.
This year you could order your drinks and food in advance from their “e-store” (I swear this party is happening in 2007) so that’s nice, considering you gotta lug a whole dining set along with you while dressed in white.
This is their website, it was made in 2004 on geocities.
Anyway I don’t get the appeal, but then I don’t get the appeal of dressing in all white to hang out with other people in all white as well, so clearly this event is not for me.
I tried to go see Sean Paul at Cabana
And here is my own personal stupidity of the week:
A few weeks ago my friend and I bought tickets to Sean Paul at Cabana Pool Bar and due to our purity of heart and relative shelteredness from the world of clubs, we failed to notice that Sean Paul was “hosting” Cabana Pool Bar. Most people would be skeptical because the door at Cabana costs $20 and these tickets were $25 but we trusted naively in the Charles Khabouth’s largesse.
A few days before the “show” we started doing some research and were aghast to discover that we had been HUSTLED by both club king khabouth and reggae/water polo sensation paul. Sean Paul was merely attending Cabana as a patron, and while we could pay to bask in his glory for the afternoon, he would not be performing. I felt like a stupid small-town girl and not a worldy cosmopolitan queen.
I did a bit of research into the phenomena of celebrity club hosting and here’s what I found:
they get paid a lot of money to come by for 2 hours and have a drink
in this case because sean paul is actually a performer we naturally thought he was PERFORMING
they can request the kind of crowd they want at the club
they set strict limits on photos and make lavish demands
social media stars are not a very big draw for clubs (unlike reality tv stars or singers) so your girl won’t be hosting at cabana any time soon ;)
I have to confess that I have before been to Cabana (I got offered free tickets) - a place I can only describe as excessively wasteful (5 people order 20 bottles of Dom and proceeded to neither drink them nor dance?!!!!), extremely loud and governed by stunning women in painful shoes. Nobody swam in the pool, except for me because I love swimming. Drinks are actually not very expensive. Everyone hangs out in the bathrooms putting on make up and doing drugs instead of outside (even though that’s the point?).
Regardless, Sean Paul, I will never forget how you betrayed me, but I will take this bitter experience as a lesson that no matter how urbane I may think I am, I will never be prepared for the hustler cynicism of clubs.
And ICYMI, clip of the week:
“My hair is up. My hoops are out”